Email Demon Warewolf?

Something has happened to me. I have changed somehow. Normally, I am a somewhat masculine, friendly, collegial force in the world, able to laugh at myself and handle my business like an adult. However, I have no choice but to turn myself in, guilty of crimes against masculinity. In the face of tremendous stress from my upcoming move, office deadlines, and personal situations, I took a few little jokes at my expense wayyyyyy out of proportion and lashed out bitterly at 2 close friends. I have become the Email Demon Warewolf. I'm a lot like a normal warewolf, except instead of growing excess body hair, acting like an animal, and biting people, I grow ovaries, behave like a menopausal woman, and send biting emails to friends, where I cry and whine about how poorly they treat me. It is quite odd. I remain a man, but I am prone to short bursts of feminist tyranny, where I judge people unfairly, act irrationally, and behave emotionally. And, to top it off, I will demand an apology from those I wronged when I am done. I can't say for sure whether or not this constitutes some sort of super power, but when I get the blood test results back from the lab, I'll be sure to let you all know.

In the meantime, there is a gang of angry villagers with pitch forks and torches after me. I can only hope they will recognize that I am not a monster. I was just temporarily female and didn't know my own estrogenic strength. I can only throw myself before the mercy of my fellow men. I did the crime, now I must do the time: 7 years of ridicule, a fine of one lunch for friends at The Bottom Line, and 2 years probation. It's not too late: Only you can prevent male menstration.