Chivalry Is Dead

Any morning where the Metro is delayed and/or crowded, it usually leads to a chance for me to witness interesting conversations or to encounter people so revolting that it would make for an great story. Today, I managed to experience both simultaneously. At the Pentagon Metro stop on the blue line train, a morbidly obese woman riding a Rascal scooter and her equally attractive friend trudged crushed their way into the car. Blimp #1 instantly decided to take her fat aggression out on some other passengers by driving her scooter into the backs of their legs, then beeping her annoying little horn at them in disgust. Her friend, Blimp #2, not wanting to miss out on pissing off everyone in sight, set her personality on "aggravate" and set out to find a place to sit in the still-crowded car by waddling up to those sitting down and glowering at them. Mind you, this "woman" had hair that looked like a bird's nest and a face that might look better if I dumped a vial of acid over her head. Seriously, the next time I have inconvenient arousal, she will be in my thoughts. Regardless, I was quite proud that no one on the train gave up their seat in light of her overall rude and disgusting demeanor.

Undaunted, Blimp #2 took the audacity up a notch, aggressively charging at the only man in the area with a seat like he was the ice cream man. She howled at him, "You have some nerve, sir! I'm here with my friend, and she is enfeebled! I am helping her out, and those seats are reserved for the handicapped and elderly. If you were any kind of gentleman, you would see my friend's situation and give me your seat!" (I note that while she had the gait of a penguin and the girth of a beluga whale, this woman was ambulatory and quite capable of standing.) He did not immediately respond. Growing even angrier, the woman screamed to the entire train, "CHIVALRY IS DEAD! DO YOU PEOPLE HEAR ME?!?!?! DEAD!!!!" With a slight smile on his face, the gentleman stood up, took out his cane, and swung it back and forth as he walked away to give the wench his seat. He was blind! This obnoxious pig of a woman didn't even thank him! Despite my disgust with the situation, I still had a good laugh at her expense while she shot me evil looks. Chivalry may be dead, my dear, but I think you killed it...


I tried to reach these lovely ladies for further comment, but all I got back was this picture from their trip to Goofy's Trailer Park...