JJ Redick: Douchiness Unchecked

Perhaps some of you have heard of a college named Duke and a player named JJ Redick (see link for more info). They really don't have much success, so maybe they have flown under your radar. Well, Mr. Redick is a bigger crybaby than me trying to deal with a flat tire. This fuckstain is a preening, whining, bitchy, cockmaster. He has some talent, but he also has an unrealistic expectation that whenever he misses a shot, some eggregious offense must have occurred. Hey, JJ: You're playing basketball. This isn't a noble cause or anything. Lighten up, and realize that you're just a pretentious pansy with a limp wrist. No need to fly off the handle like a bipolar woman who is on the rag. He also sucks the blood of asian babies to retain his vitality. I can't give confirmation, but I can only assume it's true.

In case you don't read Sports Illustrated or its website regularly, check out the latest from this no talent ass-clown. In addition to being an ass-ramming dickwad and a bigger pussy than Barking Bug in a physical altercation, JJ Redick loves to write meaningless, shallow, douchebag poetry. I perused these selections, and I must note a line in the last poem: "I gave inspiration to Dr. ML King/I'm the reason Ray Charles can sing." WHAT A DICK! Yes, a white, pussified dicklicker from Roanoke, VA, who makes his name shooting a basketball really has any business mentioning himself as an inspiration to two tremendously influential black men who did more by taking a shit than he ever will in his entire life. FUCK HIM!!! Man, do I wish Mrs. Redick's health plan back in the day included an option for abortion...

Here's a better poem for this unconscionable dried-up, dicklicking mother fucker. Maybe SI can publish this one in their next issue:

The Officials give me every call/
Because I give reach around and suck the dick.
I think I'm better than I am/
Because I'm a fucking prick.

In my spare time, I eat the ass of/
Any reporter who touts my name.
I'm JJ Redick, the biggest douche/
The universe has ever seen!