Only in Dreams?

[Note: This post somehow got deleted through no action of my own. I decided to repost out of spite.]

I usually don't remember my dreams, probably because I'm too focused on unnecessary BS like low-stakes poker, minor league basketball, and fantasy sports. Either that or my subconscious produces images so horrifyingly stupid and retarded that my brain shields my conscious from these bastardized thoughts. No matter. This dream stood out for its sheer idiocy and overall hilarity at my expense:

I knew it was a dream for several reasons: (1) I was out at a bar (why be social when I can hang out at home?), (2) I was drinking a beer (why drink a beer when I can have no fun at all?), and (3) I was talking to women, and they were actually interested in me (my interactions with the opposite sex are awkward on a good day). For some reason, I attracted the attention of a gorgeous brunette, who laughed at my stupid jokes and seemed interested in my insurance career (yet another clue). Flash forward, and we're back at her place and in her bedroom. She takes off her clothes and lies down on the bed. Do I jump her bones? Do I romance her? NO! I say, "Sorry, I have a girlfriend," and I leave. I woke up dumbfounded! Am I really so pathetic with the opposite sex that I can't even seal the deal in my own dream? Even fat, ugly people get the hot chick in their dreams!

Fortunately for me, I told my girlfriend about this series of events, and she thought it was sweet that I would turn down sex in my dream. Unfortunately for me, I blew my "Get Out of Jail Free" card when I forgot to pick up the dry cleaning on the way home. Maybe I was better off just keeping my mouth shut. Story of my life...