More Kickball Idiocy...

I'm sure all of you are aware of my vehement opposition to the silly, unnecessary, pathetic game called kickball (link). I thought I had said my peace, but just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in...

As you can read in this article from the Washington Citypaper, effective February 14, 2006, there is officially a federal lawsuit regarding kickball. To give you a brief synopsis, WAKA, the degenerate corporation that organizes the extensive population of gay retards who play kickball in the DC region (they claim to have 10,000 members), is seeking an immediate halt of operations from DC Kickball, a small competitor (400 members), PLUS $356,000 in compensatory and punitive damages. Why does WAKA assert that these damages are owed? First, WAKA alleges that DC Kickball "stole their intellectual property" because there are some overlapping rules. Included in these overlaps are: (i) all members must be 21 years or older to play, (ii) there must be at least 4 men and 4 women in the field, and (iii) the equipment and field dimensions are "similar". In addition to the intellectual property concerns, WAKA also claims that the founder of DC Kickball "defamed their good name" by calling them "The Microsoft of Kickball" in a separate Washington Citypaper article from May 2005. [Blogger's note: Considering the overwhelming popularity and power of Microsoft, I'm not really sure how this is a defamation or insult. However, I'm sure it wasn't what he said, but how he said it...]

According to the Sports Law Blog, this entire lawsuit is frivolous. I say no one with an IQ above 60 has to sit and think about this one to realize that the whole situation is outright ludicrous. We are all aware that anyone above the age of 14 playing competitive kickball is just plain pathetic. I have also maintained that unathletic metrosexual men use this purported "fun game" as a pickup attempt, which I found purely laughable. However, this situation just tops it all! I look at the WAKA, LLC v. DC Kickball lawsuit like this: WAKA is a large, established association of absolute retards with a membership of 10,000. They are suing a newer, smaller association of retards over their definition of the word "retard" and asking for damages because the smaller group called them "retards". Basically, this entire situation is nothing but pathetic hilarity. Only in America would something so useless as kickball waste the time and resources of the federal court system.