A Very Buggish Bachelor Party, Part IV

Part IV: The Witch with Zero Sense of Humor

Having vanquished his demons with the first pitch, it was now game time. The Barking Brother arranged for us sit in The Den, an area in the left field bleachers that included a full buffet dinner with hot dogs, burgers, sausage, steak tips, salad, watermelon, and cookies. To gain entry to The Den, you need a special wristband. The college student working the gate this particular evening, Melanie, was a Grade-A beyotch. While we were waiting to get in, little kids were jumping around all excited to be at the game, but she was complaining about the noise. Naturally, this didn't bode well for her. We were definitely the most boisterous and obnoxious group in the state of New Hampshire that evening.

Picking up on her bad attitude, the Barking Bachlor led the way. He said to Melanie, "It's my bachelor party! I threw out the first pitch. Does that turn you on?" She didn't say anything, but was clearly upset. I followed up and asked her how she was doing. She said, "fine!", but clearly all was not well in beyotch land. She spent the remainder of the game leering and brooding in our general direction as we ate, drank, and were generally douchebags. Later on, I went to get some more steak tips (which were delicious), and Melanie was over there kvetching to her "friends" about what a jerk and a loser the Barking Bachelor was. I interrupted her rant and said, "Excuse me, you're being rude and inconsiderate, and I don't think your comments are appropriate." She offered a half-hearted apology while rolling her eyes.

The bottom line here is that Melanie, who works for the New Hampshire Fishercats, is a total beyotch. If you ever encounter her, feel free to [RETRACTED]. Until then, I strongly recommend that Melanie should take the giant stick out of her [RETRACTED] and use it to [RETRACTED] creative and unsanitary ways. Not that there's anything wrong with that... The funny part about all this is that she probably runs a blog where she complains about annoying customers at the baseball games. Too bad everyone in the world knows that she's not worth a crap. In case she's reading: Melanie, you're 18 or 19 years old, and you're making money working at a minor league baseball stadium. No one can possibly stand your attitude, and you're not even [RETRACTED]. Stop taking yourself so seriously and try to enjoy your piddling little existence that barely qualifies as a life...